A Demystifying Death Week event, May 2025
by Kirsty Williams, SICA Member, Moray and Inverness.
It has been a while since I organised an event such as this, but as the lived experience volunteer on the Palliative Care Group for Health & Social Care Moray, I felt it was important to host an event that took the public on a journey……. The journey no-one seems to want to talk about….. death and dying.
How wrong could this be though? The day was hosted in a central location at the Ex Servicemen’s Club in Elgin. There were four talks during the day, about dying, future planning, death and bereavement. The idea was that members of the public could come to any talk they wanted and were not obligated to stay for all of them.
The first talk was from Kate Clark who delivered the EASE (End of Life Aids Skills for everyone) taster session. The second from local solicitors talking of the importance of having a power of attorney and a will, followed by an independent family run funeral directors, then finally a talk by a counsellor from Cruse Scotland to talk about grief and how it can impact us, emotionally, mentally and physically.
Refreshments were offered and it was advised for those staying for the day they should bring a packed lunch.
There were breaks between each session so that people could look at the exhibition It Takes A Village. Or they could speak to the stall holders who were there to talk about the support they could offer. At the end of the event, the exhibition was transferred to Dr Gray’s hospital foyer for the rest of Demystifying Death week.
There were 23 participants in attendance at the event on the 5th May. Considering the topic this was much better than anticipated. Attendees were from all ages and backgrounds. There were members of the local Parkinson’s group, to nursing students, studying in mental health.
What was remarkable is that everyone stayed for the whole day and actively took part in the discussions during each topic. Questions and discussions were around some of the gory details of the funeral business were discussed. What happens to the metal work (hips) after a cremation, embalming, to murders, suicides and full Elvis Presley moments!
Of course, the more serious topics of lengthy post mortem waits in Moray to funeral costs and the difference between cremation and burial since the Local Authority have hugely increased their prices were also discussed.
Some attendees were comfortable enough to share their own personal experiences, which may have been lost had the group been any bigger.
The event feedback was positive from all attendees. All of them said they would recommend it to a friend or family member if future events were held. One quote from an attendee was, ‘thank you for such an informative day. It was very much appreciated. And keep up the good work!’
Each topic was filled with questions and answers, highlighting how much people did want to talk about that subject no-one wants to talk about! I look forward, with anticipation, to an event in November for ‘To Absent Friends’.
